POMO

An indispensable part of any private party. The “We’re from your face!” scene is my favorite. Irresistibly depraved humor. And Knoxville, Steve-O and Acuña are simply gods!

Slumdog Millionaire is essentially the new Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. It will be just as influential. It is a love story from an exotic corner of the world, which the ordinary viewer would otherwise never see, told in a universal language. And the Indians will try to convince you (as the Chinese tried to do at the time) that they have been making such films for decades. No, they haven’t. Someone had to come from abroad and take out their Western European lens. Slumdog Millionaire is not a Bollywood film, but a firework-like celebration of Bollywood as a film culture with all its romanticism. In its beautiful love story, Slumdog Millionaire fully utilizes the splendors and miseries of the Indian microcosm, thus making it attractive for the audience in an imaginative and fresh way. It is a small and unobtrusive film gem that shines more than any Los Angeles jewelry store where Benjamin Button goes shopping. Slumdog Millionaire is a movie celebrating life, faith and positive thinking; a movie that wasn’t made to become the award-winning film of the year... and that is why it deserves it. Nowadays this film is a small miracle. And Danny Boyle is a god. P.S: Jen Lopez and Rosario Dawson might have Freida Pinto’s features but not her eyes. No Hollywood actress has Freida Pinto’s eyes...

The Conspiracy of Torture is something like Angélique, but without ships or Jeoffrey de Peyrac, and with just one short romantic scene + several piquant scenes of torture and classic killing. Which is not enough to satisfy Lucio Fulci’s fans. Who is this boring film even aimed at?

This movie comes from the family of works like The Prowler (1981) and The Toolbox Murders (1978) – it is a brutal splatter slasher, depravedly relishing the most violent murders of randomly selected victims. The film follows the murderer from the first minute to the last and, by making us listen to his constant growling, pretends to be a psychological probe into his mind... ahem. There is one effective scene (the jump on a car with a shotgun), one scene with suspense that actually works (the underground restrooms) and an unexpected, surprisingly good ending – these are the things that salvage this piece of B-movie crap, so I’m giving it two stars.

My platonic childhood love, the funniest or second funniest movie I’ve ever seen. Coincidentally, it is also the bloodiest. Watching Braindead is like watching a 50-year-old horny nun losing her virginity to Rocco Siffredi – the ultimate ride through the sea of decadence and the most perverse humor imaginable. I’m allergic to pets, but there’s one I want to have at all costs – the Sumatran rat monkey. And pudding will never taste the same.

A humanistic journey into the soul of a man who looks like a monster but is beautiful on the inside, The Elephant Man features masterful work with the camera and lighting, as well as extraordinary acting performances. The director’s take on his subject matter is so sensitive that it seems as if he has fallen to his knees before it. A filmmaking event with one of the most beautiful endings ever seen on the screen.

While in Million Dollar Baby, Clint Eastwood never left the boxing ring, here he never leaves his own front porch. Gran Torino is even more intimate than his recent boxing opus and delivers an even harder knockout blow to the audience. Eastwood portrays one of his most interesting characters in an incredibly smoothly flowing movie – the easy-to-follow setting of the simple story emphasizes the seamless continuity of individual scenes composing an intriguing character study of Eastwood’s Kowalski. Everything in this movie has its place and meaning, including a brief lawn-mowing shot. Not to mention the song in the end credits...

A dime-a-dozen American sitcom about a dysfunctional family conceived as a feature-length film. Half of the jokes aren’t funny and the rest are just okay. Before the film is over, you’ll get to know the characters and get at least some of the humor, but most of the time you just won’t understand where the joke is. Frank Oz’s comedy Death at a Funeral uses the same premise, but in a much more imaginative way.

The Last Deadly Mission is a gloomy film-noir crime thriller in the vein of Fincher’s Se7en or Zodiac, with a powerful atmosphere of despondency, the great Daniel Auteuil, the beautiful and fragile Olivia Bonamy, dialogue scenes with dirty napkins in an ashtray with cold whiskey spilled on them. It is a brilliantly made film in technical terms, but the screenplay could have cut down a bit on Auteuil’s drinking. He drinks probably more than Nic Cage in Leaving Las Vegas and it makes the film seem 20 minutes longer than it actually is. But all that diligently constructed gloom still deserves a solid four stars.

As a historical blockbuster for the consumerist audience, The Illusionist features oversimplified characters and emotions created by tacky lighting that blurs the image beyond their faces, like in the worst soap operas. On the other hand, the story is nicely fast-paced and Bratislava and Prague on the background of Philip Glass’s music seem irresistible, almost fairytale-like. It’s a bit surprising that the most remarkable character (and performance) is not delivered by Edward Norton, but by Paul Giamatti. Had it not been for the lame attempt to impress us with the point, which any thinking viewer can guess at least ten minutes beforehand, and especially all the plot holes and half-baked execution, I might have given it a “guilty” four stars.