3DD!3

Where’s the splatter movie about a woman who bathed in blood? Herbs, after all... how lame. Boring, no atmosphere, nothing worth remembering. The story doesn’t hold together and of the actors, only Roden sticks out, the others don’t deliver anything special, but on the other hand it’s not embarrassing (even Upír Krejčí was ok in his mini-role :-). But mainly I had the feeling that this movie lasted about three and a half hours. Never again.

It would probably have been better if they hadn’t given away almost the whole movie in the first clip, but in any case I reasonably enjoyed myself. Some of it is seriously gourmet style (yep, the chase with the one-armed Bruce), but most of it was more like marzipan on an over-sweet cake. The story is clearly not fully thought through, even though I’m ready to believe that as a comic book it was at least 50% better. Also, I didn’t much like Mostow’s plastic vision. Did they all really have to look THAT artificial?

More of an existential drama than a comedy. And Sandler is good at acting this type of guy and it’s a joy to follow his verbal exchanges with Rogen. The excessive length bothered me a little (I was glued to my armchair in the end), but on the other hand, I don’t know what I would have left out, because I really enjoyed myself the whole time. I also enjoyed the many star cameos. Personally, that Aussie Oz Eric Bana got to me most. :-)

The stormy atmosphere of Neptune and a space ship spewed from the depths of hell didn’t give me a moment of rest for the whole 92 minutes. Anderson can do it if he wants (the faultless dizzy beginning) and if it weren’t for the slightly over the top ending I would easily give it 5*. But now I can only remember the perfect build up of atmosphere in the first two thirds, the superb acting performances of Laurence Fishburne and Sam Neill, the very decent effects and the idea which, if it had been developed right could have satisfied my dark side.

Likeable main protagonists, a ton of laughs and eye-candy slow motion splattering blood. What more could one ask for? Woody Harrelson is awesome and Jesse Eisenberg was a very pleasant surprise. The zombies here aren’t spooky, so no horror, but maybe comedy of the year. You must learn to appreciate the simple things in life.

Lightweight testimonial. Stephen King would have been delighted with this movie. I was impressed by the great atmosphere that swings between relaxed enjoyment and absolute despair. The cast is A-grade (Chris Pine rules) and the characters behave nice and realistically and if for a minute somebody behaves humanely, he is deservedly punished. Just one thing bothered me. I would have made the ending a little longer and had the rest of the crew eliminated too. But I suppose people like a happy ending. P.S.: Oh, I see now, Steve really was delighted with it, he even wrote something about it in an article in Entertainment Weekly.

It wasn’t as bad as I feared. The screenplay was definitely intriguing and, in a thieving blend way, original (you see, nobody has blended these ingredients together before now). In terms of acting, pretty decent (even Megan managed to squeeze something out if herself) and, if it weren’t for the tired direction, maybe I would have given one more star.

Season one: Life is a crock of shit and it’s fine to get a good night’s sleep occasionally. And when you have writer’s block everything’s twice as bad. Hank Moody deals with it with a Camel, a glass of scotch and a new woman every other day. But life is still a crock of shit. When I watch Californication, I get this nice warm feeling inside that I’m not up shit creek alone... Season two: Damn, that’s Rick Rubin’s house! Or isn’t it? Season three: A change of job brought a breath of fresh air with it and, after a slightly week season two, it’s heading to the top again. Three new beauties and an unbelievably overloaded last episode grabbed me by the heart. Lots of luck, Hank. Season four: Like the last chapter of a book that never ends. The excellent ending to season three caused this one to have a really strong take-off (maybe the best yet) and the endings were always very powerful. Then everything returned to the same old rut until toward the end the standard rose again. The excellent episode with flashbacks to days even before the pilot shows that a lot of water has gone under the bridge, but the quality remains high. One thing is beginning to annoy me and that’s Charlie. Is he exaggerating just to make Hank’s most difficult moment more bearable? Maybe. But some lines just shouldn’t be crossed. As for the last episode, they couldn’t have given us a better ending. The circle that began with episode one has closed and now an empty road lies before us. What stories await us on it? Season five: The break in New York did Hank good and it had a pretty good effect on the entire season. To begin with the moody writer is literally dragged back into the series against his will and his short trip to California turns into a long-term vacation. “It all started well, then it went a bit weird and in the end everything was completely fucked up." The supporting character that stands out most is mad Sam. Apoc. and he’s a younger version of Hank who is dating his daughter. A perfect ending, showing that it doesn’t help even if you do everything right, things still won’t go the way you want, because God hates us all. I hope we see each other soon, Hank. Season six: This was supposed to be the last season, but money has to spin. I can’t help thinking that all of this californicating is beginning to spiral all the way down to hell with Lew Ashby behind the bar. A good half of the episodes were trash. The beginning is pretty fine, the rehab center was interesting and the fairies were duly funny, on the other hand the rock opera is just pitiful. Even Hank says that. The idea with the muse Faith (the ravishing Maggie Grace) as the new “first lady" in Hank’s life promised more than it gave. Would it have been such a problem to drive things to greater extremes? The whole thing is starting to be really forced and some parts are boring and a tasteless cesspit revolving around its own absurdity. I’m not very pleased that there’s going to be another season because we’re witnessing the fall of another people’s hero. I sometimes watched it just out of habit. Well, perhaps this is just a weak spot and they’ll make up for it next time. Season seven: Wrack and ruin. The arrival of the prodigal son is the worst thing that could have hit Californication. The situations are becoming even more absurd. Filth, stupidity and humiliation are mounting up. This season was no better, more like a painful crawl to the finish. Really, only the last three or four episodes are any good. Thanks to those Hank Moody leaves with honor, a little dented, broken and immobile, but with honor. Farewell, Hank, but you should have stayed in New York after season four. Farewell, old brother.

So this was a bit of a disappointment. They could’ve gotten much more out of Gamer and you can clearly see that in some scenes. Neveldine and Taylor are literally bursting with ideas, sadly not all of them are good and some crossed the line of good taste (I get it with the Crank franchise, but this was meant to be a movie for the wider public, dammit). The whole part where they’re playing “Society" came across as unnecessary and very, very over the top. On the other hand, Hall’s puppeteering finale (amazing dance scene “I’ve Got You Under My Skin") is perfect and so fresh. It’s a shame the movie is so self-contradictory. It’s a wasted opportunity.

For a moment there I thought we were in trouble. A legendary classic that I could never get round to watching until today, at last. Paul Newman and Robert Redford reeling off immortal great lines in an unforgettable story...