Anakondy: Polowanie na Krwawą Orchideę

A pile of clichés without the slightest attempt to engage anyone’s interest. No humor, no suspense, no sympathy for the characters. Even the snakes are neglected in this, and I’d rather just not even mention their digital rendering. A worthless film. (24.09.2004)

Why the fuck am I even looking at this? A script that would make even a lobotomised chimpanzee facepalm, and in the last act a lethal dose of clichés that are hard to digest even for a hardened viewer, for whom watching B-movie productions is a daily bread. The first half, when the expedition is just floating down the river and the story is mainly conversational, is still survivable with a certain amount of tolerance. But with the arrival of the anaconda, about 40 minutes before the end, Mr. Cliché enters the scene, and the final night sequence – the encounter with the snakes and the showdown with the villain – is the height of screenwriting idiocy and ineptitude, and an insult to any thinking viewer. Money for special effects was scarce and so the digital anaconda flashes about four times, always for a split second (and actually one wants to say, thank God!). It's a good thing that the generally below-average actors drop their clever and revelatory lines, otherwise there would be nothing to laugh at. The scariest part of the whole thing, however, is the fact that with a cost of 20 million and a worldwide gross of 64 million, this piece of garbage paid for itself just fine. I really warn those interested in this creation, and if you really can't be without the overgrown snake, buy a rubber snake and splash around with it in the bathtub. It will sure be a lot more fun. (19.01.2005)

"I love science, but I prefer money," "When we returned, he died unnecessarily," but mainly "I'm so hungry that I would trade my own grandmother for one tic tac." A terrifying movie in the least explicit meaning. (04.05.2005)

It's not as bad as the reviews might make it seem. Yes, it lacks tension, it lacks insight and the actors just dryly recite their lines, but the film at least tries to engage the viewer a little bit, and if the dull story about the search for a medicinal plant can't do it, at least the untamed jungle full of various dangerous vermin led by a digital anaconda is a partial vignette for the stupidity and hundreds of clichés inherent in this "horror" film. Let the film also be credited with the fact that even the second time I watched it to the end. 40% (09.04.2012)

Anaconda: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid is an American production that gave me the feeling it was a kind of an old-school attempt at something that could be adventurous, which I guess I was in the mood for at the time. Plus, it is obvious that there was a decent budget, and so they managed to make something that was watchable. In my view, it is definitely not as much of a flop as some databases claim. (11.11.2019)