2012

For the first two hours, I figured I wouldn't give it full stars just because the American president Roger Murtaugh didn't declare "I’m too old for this shit!" at the sight of a rolling wave. During the third hour, I wondered why Emmerich had to add a bonus to his "best-of" that would make it hard for me to give it three stars. Yet my happy feelings prevailed. Together with Kloser, they know how to make fun of themselves, foreign policy, and genre mischief, which they’ve pulled off countless times before. Although the ending (the most boring thing this "most American German" ever made) will stay with me for a long time, the over-the-top special effects orgy, fine actors, and actually the whole overblown atmosphere will keep it at four stars. However, a second watch on DVD doesn't add to that. (19.11.2009)

The potential for fun is utilized to the maximum in 2012. The individual scenes are clichés, but as a whole they take the story through not entirely predictable paths and give us more than we’ve seen in the trailers. I didn’t feel for a moment that the movie tries to look more serious than it should – Roland Emmerich is surprisingly able to balance every absurdity with an adequate dose of humor (the ride through L.A. in a limousine that, among other things, gets splashed by the contents of a gully sucker, is a pure comedy that has no place in a disaster movie), but he’s also able to impress (amazing tidal waves). But what most surprised me about 2012 and made me give it four stars (and no, it wasn’t the special effects, which were mediocre in places, and definitely not the cheap digital-camera look that we might have to get used to even with big-budget eye-candy movies) is the political approach: the least ethical figure in the film is the US government big shot, the rich are criticized for saving their necks at the expense of the workers, and this time the world’s salvation is not the American flag, but a full-screen map with the word “CHINA” written on it. The American flag is rather ridiculed thanks to the comical character played by Woody Harrelson (in a great scene on a hill with a valley view). And every big nation/continent is represented by either an aptly written and cast supporting character (the Russian family of three and their dog are my favorites) or at least symbolically mentioned (Africa...). 2012 is a blockbuster disaster flick that is so audience-friendly that it, together with its high entertaining value, managed to worm its way into my heart. And I don’t give a crap that Mona Lisa is overlooking the Eiffel Tower from the Louvre in the film. ___ Second viewing: I wish Emmerich was a big shot politician – then there’d be no wars and everyone would just amicably hold each other’s hand (and go to the movies). This movie is just overflowing with his love for old Hollywood adventure/disaster flicks. The ultimate guilty pleasure. (05.11.2009)

Five minutes of fun are always ruined by half an hour of boring and incredibly dull bollocks. Where are the days of Independence Day and Godzilla? They didn’t have such megalomaniac destruction, but their stories held together and they were fun and tense throughout. If we consider the contents, the runtime of 2012 is so excessive that by the end (or rather, the last hour) it was hard for me to refrain from doing something else and leave the film on as background noise. Maybe it’s good for the undemanding audience craving for a CGI orgy, but I’m unable to turn off my brain thoroughly enough to say the same. (03.12.2009)

You're quite a guy, Roland. For my fifty, I enjoyed the Himalayas of royal entertainment. Several family action scenes also attack the master of spectacular idiocy Michael Bay, but best of all: Roland has learned to poke fun at himself. Whether it's the engagement of the bristled Cusack, the figure of the Russian oligarch (his "it´s Russian" aspires to be the line of the year), or small jokes with animals. At times, I felt like I was watching a parody of The Day After Tomorrow. Of course, to put it bluntly, 2012 is a typical Roland destructive exhibition, beautifully pointed out in the author's guileless optimism. The 3 hours flow by quickly, and during wooden conversations, hard-core fans of Emmerichisms will be satisfied in a solid state, the effects suggest that water is still not quite where it needs to be, and authentic digital will say that Roland wants to go with the times. He essentially does his own thing. I hate to say it: I used to like him because I was able to make fun of him, but now, after his best Hollywood film, which 2012 undoubtedly is, I simply like him. He is so beautifully and peculiarly PURELY... fill in the noun according to your opinion. (13.12.2009)

A lot of nice effects popped up, but the stupid story is just unforgivable. The whole world revolves around John Cusack, who drives under a falling skyscraper to escape all manner of disasters on air, land and sea by a hair’s breadth a hundred different times. Not to mention the unnatural reactions of his entire family. A long, long waste of time. A weak 2 stars. (22.12.2012)