Łowca czarownic

I have a cheap script of a zero value and I want to make a blockbuster out of it. To be taken at least a little seriously, I will pay to get Michael Caine in on it, although I will be embarrassed in front of him on the set. I won’t ask him whether he finished reading said script. In an effort to create a Dark Knight-like atmosphere, I will also task Jablonsky with creating some imitation of the of Zimmer’s monumental Batman scores. For the lead role, I will choose the most wooden, but globally popular action star, which will sensibly sort my target audience out to the unpretentious consumers of brainless entertainment. And I’m going to flood it all with secondhand digital garbage, which cannot even show a car speeding down a New York street from a high perspective. The feeling when you are so frustrated after a movie that brought you zero viewing satisfaction that you need to watch any other movie quickly in order to forget it and to leave you with ANY KIND of an impression, knowledge or satisfaction from the evening. (23.10.2015)

I wasn't expecting much from this, so when I found the beginning to be pretty entertaining, I was very surprised and wondered why it got such a low rating. And then it all became clear during the film. Kaulder is lame, the fights are even more so, and for being only 107 minutes long I thought it might be over after the 70th minute, it was kind of long. I was entertained until about the time Kaulder gets his gnocchi on, but there was nothing more interesting than that. Pretty mediocre, below average action fantasy. (16.01.2016)

A movie with a tree that gummy bears grow on can’t be all bad. Diesel tries to operate outside his three regular personas (Riddick, Toretto, Cage), but still without great success. It doesn’t work very well here. This fantasy is suspiciously reminiscent of something I wanted to see when I was into Conan as a boy. In the end, it’s fairly watchable and makes sense. A bit more work on the screenplay wouldn’t have hurt, but it’s ok. Rose Leslie makes it ten times better. Michael Caine’s line at the end is just cool. Not in the theater, but at home. (31.01.2016)

The Last Witch Hunter is an average fantasy flick, laced through and through with action and all sorts of magic. It benefits in particular from a likeable cast that balances the simplicity of the script, which reeks of cliché. One of a bunch of one-viewing films that neither impresses nor offends. (12.02.2016)

It's a shame that this movie plays it safe and the storyline is incredibly straightforward and very predictable. But I enjoyed the world presented here, it's a nicely polished B-movie with characters that I personally really like. Visually interesting, it has something of "Constantine" but it is also unique. You just know how it will end right away. Don't expect anything grand in it. (08.02.2016)