Charlie's Farm

When I look at one of the posters of Charlie’s Farm, dominated by the murderous bulk of Charlie surrounded by the scalps of iconic slasher villains, like Freddy, Jason and Michael, I really feel like laughing right at the faces of the creators and say: “Piss off”. This new hixploitation slasher movie from Australia has nothing that would make it interesting. It doesn’t have any idea that would set it apart from a million other hixploitation slasher movies: beginning with the original The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and ending with last year’s Wolf Creek 2. It has no tempo – you have to wait almost an hour for the action to begin – and has not style of its own that would make that one-hour wait something bearable. It has no likeable characters, it has no competent actors even. Based on her performance, I though Ms Reid was actually and old pornstar trying to break into new genres, but then I researched a little and found that the last film she was in was Sharknado – which perhaps is even worse than porn. The only thing the film has is a murderous giant that it’s so forgettable and bland that its creators have profiled it with his weight and size (on another poster). Pathetic. (23.06.2015)