Necrotongue

I’m a stalwart opponent of social media sharing, so I gathered all my willpower, removed all sharp objects from my reach, and watched the utopian struggle of an individual against the facebook-oid corporation. I’m not sure why this cartoon was made. I don’t think anyone will take its message seriously, and the creators must have been aware of that. After all, if most people put down their smartphones, they wouldn't even be able to wipe their asses because they wouldn't have access to the necessary app. So, while it was funny at times, it was also pretty melodramatic, predictable, and generated a moral lesson that no one will care about.

The movie was scripted and directed by a total moron, and don’t even get me started on the acting. The only one whose motivation I can understand is Michael Madsen. He only participated because it was a chance to play Mr. White again. It didn't work without Tarantino, though. I wouldn’t even call this a movie; the actors seemed to be posing rather than acting, and the dialogue was straight out of a Central or South American soap opera.

When a film is based on true events, the filmmakers usually pick an event that actually happened, use some real names, and then the writer lets their imagination run wild without being unnecessarily constrained by the truth. If the event dates back at least a century and is set in Catholic Spain, the filmmakers have hit the jackpot (the only thing they probably wouldn’t be able to pull off is a second immaculate conception). So much for the actual events and eyewitness accounts. Let’s take a look at the movie now. I honestly think it could have been much worse, but with just a little more effort and passion it could have been much better. This way, it’s barely average, with many logic holes. It had some interesting acting performances, though. 2*+

Oh well, I didn’t enjoy The Darwin Awards as much as I did when I was younger. In fact, I was quite disappointed. The idea was great, no doubt about it, but the execution didn't quite work out. I enjoyed the stories of all those who were dying or harming themselves and others, but I wasn’t exactly thrilled about the central duo (or rather a trio). When romance started to creep its way in, it was the last straw. I’m also not a big fan of Joseph Fiennes (unlike his charismatic brother).

I had a surprisingly good time, and I can’t believe that Big Brother gave this the green light. It's not even a comedy, I’d call it a well-aimed satire about an increasingly topical issue. You can also see the movie from a completely different point of view, it's just that you won’t find it so hilarious. I mean, it’s much better to laugh at the tanks with ads on them and save the darker thoughts for later. For a movie that clearly didn’t have the highest of budgets, there's an unexpected amount of food for thought, which I appreciate. 4*+

In the first third, I was surprised by how much fun I was having. After that, things took a turn. The romance was amped up, and the bar was lowered for what passed as funny, which is not a good combination. It's a shame because this wasn't a typical romantic comedy (there were no students in it). If the quality hadn’t gone down after the first third, I would have added a star.

I liked these two weirdly connected families a lot. The drama was palpable, Tobey Maguire wasn’t spitting cobwebs everywhere (which was a good thing), Christina Ricci was like Wednesday again (which was even better), and I savored all the quiet desperation.

I'm no puritan or moralist – I found a lot of the dialogue hilarious, and I’m not going to give the movie less than a three. But the fact is that the ratio of good and not-so-good jokes here is about fifty-fifty. The movie also has a great cast, so voilà! a slightly above-average rating.

This is the second film I’ve seen in a short time with a non-actor/non-singer in one of the leading roles. I’m not thrilled about this one, either. It's true that Jon Bon Jovi, unlike Louise Veronica Ciccone, didn't offend my aesthetic sensibilities, but I can’t say his acting did the movie any favors. The story was far from original, but it was watchable. What bothered me more was the occasional overacting. I get it, they were theatre actors putting on a new play, but they were theatrical in their private lives as well, which didn’t work for me. It was no masterpiece, the performances were quite unimpressive, but I’m willing to give it two stars.

My relationship with Woody Allen's films has evolved (or perhaps is still evolving). There was a time when I was crazy about his films, but my enthusiasm has somewhat waned since then and I'll have to revise some of my ratings. This does not affect Match Point, though. Not only is it not a comedy, but it has an interesting plot, and the personality of the main "hero" goes through an interesting development. Personally, I always appreciate a film about a spineless, self-centered asshole. I can finally experience emotions that I don’t get to feel often when watching movies. Filmmakers always try to move me or thrill me, but sometimes it's also nice to feel disgusted and repulsed by some asshole's actions. To my satisfaction, this movie does a great job of it.