Necrotongue

By the third episode, the tension is really heating up. War preparations are in full swing, and von Bismarck and von Moltke have the situation firmly in hand. Even though the outcome of the conflict is predictable, the series keeps getting more interesting. I love how the Danes can weave a love story into the show without sacrificing its atmosphere. Plus, this spectacle introduced me to a new type of relationship dynamic — a Danish love triangle.

You can tell the Danes have a different approach to making films and series compared to Americans and Peter Jackson. Instead of endless bloodbaths, the first episode offers a glimpse into everyday life on the eve of war, fueled by overly enthusiastic politicians. Scandinavian cinema and TV always resonate with me.

I probably didn’t get the film’s message, hence the low rating. When I found out it had over 70%, my jaw dropped so low it almost broke my toe. From my point of view, it’s a movie about a stupid girl, who after leaving a nightclub joins four drunk Germans. When they don't gangrape her within the first five minutes, she’s so thrilled that she joins them in a robbery and child kidnapping. The movie would be too short, so the filmmakers shrewdly filled it with pointlessly long scenes in which nothing happens. I don’t see any point in philosophizing about the influence of disco music on the development of characters, so this is the end of my review.

Surprisingly not as underwhelming as I’d expected. I knew it would be simple and predictable, but I didn't expect I’d have so many laughs. I've seen Bad Moms and The DUFF in the last two days, and they were much worse. A decent average with Zoey Deutch as a bonus.

The second film opens with a spectacular nautical scene, which is, sadly, totally dumb. The ensuing plot digs itself out of this hole but only barely. Everything I liked about the characters in the first film is gone. Alice isn’t anything special, the Hatter is Deppressed, the White Queen, who used to give me fits of laughter, bored me, and Red didn’t bring anything new. Sacha Baron Cohen and his castle saved the film for me. Time, the castle and the Seconds reminded me of MediEvil on PS 1, which made my day.

I had a great time. The film was off the rails just like the book on which it was based. Mia Wasikowska was extremely convincing, Anne Hathaway was hilarious, and I’m not exactly a fan of hers, Johnny Depp was at his wackiest, Helena Bonham Carter was fantastic ("I need a pig here!” and "Off with their heads!" – brilliant) and Crispin Glover was sleazy to the core. Except for a few minor details, I was satisfied.

The movie wasn't bad. On the other hand, I've seen much better stuff from Pixar, and the constant play on emotions was annoying. It’s enough that I have to put up with that in regular films. The animation was of course excellent, the underwater (and aquarium) life looked magnificent. I enjoyed the movie, except for the heartbreaking scenes which were pretty much unnecessary.

This is obviously a film for a different target audience. If I were a teenager, I might have given it four stars. Being rather aged, I noticed many flaws. The plot was extremely predictable, and the humor was quite mediocre. The whole film felt really familiar to me, it was similar to a lot of comedies that I’ve seen (Mean Girls, Bullshit, etc.). On the other hand, I quite liked the ending which could have been much worse. I even had a few laughs, which is why I’ve decided to give the film two stars.

The film seemed like it might actually work. I liked that it didn’t feature the standard jump scares. It definitely wouldn’t have been so bad if the filmmakers hadn't literally buried it underground. It seemed to me that the writer and director didn’t want to overexert themselves and when the actors saw them, they decided to take it easy, too. Everything was going so spectacularly badly that the special effects department decided they couldn't care less about the butterflies and the alien was scary enough. And if that wasn't bad enough, the ending was so terrible that I had to cool off for a while to be able to give it two stars.

Well, that was quite something. 100 minutes of sheer desperation. Women with kids and a husband who doesn't help with anything have it tough. Wow, I just summed up the film in one sentence. I'm not one of those who think parental leave is a vacation, but it’s annoying when women complain about having children. I assume they were actively involved in the process of conception, perhaps with the exception of Mary of Nazareth. The humor in the film isn’t much to talk about, the romantic scenes made me cringe, and the ending was so touching it made me want to puke. One star for the great character of Kiki played by Kristen Bell who was the only one I enjoyed.